Rethinking Failure

Our neighbor kid Jesse came 2nd in class because he forgot T-E-N Ten. He is not happy about it and has decided that he will start making effort when he reaches Class I. He is in Class KG right now. We celebrated by throwing exploding crackers.

Nobody is mad at him because there’s not much difference between coming 1st and 2nd in class. But it brings back to mind the times when Feli would come in close to last in class. I don’t think she ever really flunked as such but definitely she was never close to the toppers.

Feli has always been the apple of my dad’s eyes so even when she didn’t make the Top Ten, he always just laughed. This always felt like high level of betrayal in my eyes because if I didn’t top the class, he’d ask me: why, tho. Feli? She spent 5 years completing her 3-year BA course. Dad’s comment? Your sister is so dedicated to Political Science she’s taking her own sweet time graduating. Followed by a hearty chuckle.

Feli is brilliant with music, cars, her vkil work and general wit. Try not to get caught insulting her. If she gets angry enough, she will decimate you. Academia has never been her friend. This just goes to show how different strengths we have just increases our collective strengths. There is a joke that says if everyone becomes MCS, who will sell zarda paan? Crude, but true.

I remember as kids, Feli never liked to study or even read overmuch. In fact, the only time she ever begged for tuitions personally was the time after her ninth grade Maths exam. Which dad thought about and then he decided: ya, ok. So that was how right after her exams, Feli started attending what in Potterverse they would refer to as remedial classes. Very effective. Not.

I got my lightning-quick temper from my dad. Dad has always been famous in his circles for having a temper. And even with the Apple of his Eyes, the evening of her results, the house would be on edge. Dad’s staff at the time – Pa Ngura, Pa Sangzuala, U Tharpuia and U Thupuana, especially – would be on edgier edges. For her. All tensed and anxious. And of course, Feli never disappointed. She would get nervous and jittery, seeing other people around her so strained on her behalf. The time during her agitated and uneasy walk up the school stairs to collect her results would be unfailingly the hardest effort she ever puts in to get good results. Does it work? Of course it does not. But it is what it is.

After her Political Science stint, during which she appeared twice in Hindustan Times Page 3 for her Western Music engagement, in Delhi University’s Janki Devi Memorial, she discovered Law. She sat for the exams and sailed through the law course at Delhi’s Law Faculty. I guess when you find something interesting for you, you don’t need additional years.

All of this just to say: there is no one right path. I know that a lot of people in these backwaters consider her as unemployed because she does not work for the government. As far as Mizoram is concerned, unless you are employed by the Sorkar, you don’t have a job! They tell her bracingly: don’t worry, you too will some day get a job. She does. She practices in High Court, Aizawl bench. She makes her own money and does her own paperwork. She’s not half bad. I am very proud of her.

I suppose we still have ways to go before things change. Cultural lag, we call it in Sociology. Something like a mandatory temporal delay for the mode of thinking of the general public to catch up on technological advances. And the advance is very fast paced today and picking up tempo all the time. We will always have people who refuse to change and judge others severely for daring to change. I just wish they were less loud.

It is Monday. The start of a new week. I hope we can be a bit kinder to each other, even if we are on different paths. Nevertheless, I am reading up on voodoo because honestly some people sometimes? Yup.