Monday, May 12, 2025

12.5.2025 Untitled

Isn’t it sad to grow up and realise 
the world was never as big 
as you thought it was?
And my! How even houses shrink 
from childhood memories, 
revisiting them again today; 
Everything tinier 
and less impressive 
from memories of yesteryears.
Nowhere to hide, 
no place to run away,
All your battles stretching out before you 
in a never-ending war.
Eternal Tuesdays 
stretching out to Thursdays,
trapped in an ever-lasting mundane.
Give me lazy days to watch the grass grow,
To make me see again
Just how big this world is.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Autumn Goodbye girlies to August's salt air (and the rust on their door)

I never connected them until May 1, 2025 when Spotify shuffle played Britney Spears’ Autumn Goodbye about three songs after Taylor Swift’s August but oh dear lawd, the feels.

Autumn Goodbye was a 17 yo girl, cocky and vibrant, full of life, eager to experience. She never promised a happy ending and was never told they wouldn’t make her cry. Her youth, counting on days to come that she probably felt she had, simply accepted that the summer love that bloomed from April through September will keep them warm long after their seemingly inevitable autumn goodbye.

In contrast, August was a 31 yo woman, longing for love and companionship, who never needed anything more than salt air and the rust on their door, only to realise that they were destined to be lost in memories as August was sipped away like a bottle of wine. Why? Because that time was never hers to lose.

As she processed her break-up, Autumn Goodbye realises that she wants to hold on to a faint hope because ‘my heart has a place for that smile on your face’. Through red leaves and blue tomorrows, she hopes that time will give back the love that they shared on the time that they borrowed.

They say you never forget your first.

August no longer really hopes for a reconciliation. Wiser and older, she chooses to linger in memories from back when they were still changing for the better and wanting was enough. Because for her it had been enough to live for the hope of it all. I imagine her reminiscing of an August that slipped from her like a moment in time, saying: ‘So much for summer love and saying us’, actions of a younger woman, because she now knows he hadn’t been hers to lose.

They also say you can’t lose what you never had.

Summer loves. That’s what was similar about these two songs. Summer loves as told by a 17 yo girl and a 31 yo woman. Who hasn’t been through that?

12.5.2025 Untitled

Isn’t it sad to grow up and realise  the world was never as big  as you thought it was? And my! How even houses shrink  from childhood memor...