Hymnals

I was Chapel-in-charge as a 17 year old. This little bit of my history often comes as a surprise to some people who knew me only after I have attained my full-grown adult height that I am very bible-oriented and very spiritual. Not that I have changed overmuch (I mean I have but yk) but some people stereotype more than necessary. I am not very religious though and that has only fermented over time so I engage less and less with organized church as I get older. That is very true. But it is also true that my deep respect for the spiritual remains and in fact, has kept getting strengthened. Into what, is perhaps debatable.

When I was 17, though, through no fault of my own, I was expected to lead worship. So I learned guitar so I could lead song service. And also once in a while, I gave small sermons. I would sometimes make my own. Sometimes I would recall some other sermons I’d listened to, and regurgitate them. 

I did my duty even though I did not truly enjoy it. I do not think I am cut out to be a spiritual leader. I can see myself as a cult leader before a church leader. I feel I have the potential to devolve fast into that role as opposed to being an upstanding, mentally well-regulated, cool-headed non-sword-yielding church youth leader.

In any case, Chapel was every evening at 6 in our hostel. We attended it in our PJs. But on Sundays, we’d attend church service in an empty classroom at Ryan International School in Delhi’s Vasant Kunj. I believe ours was a Methodist church. The pastor was our Dean’s husband. He lived in her quarters in our girls’ hostel. We could have had our entire church services inside the confines of our girls’ hostel. But no. Come blistering heat or freezing cold of Delhi’s temperamental climate, and the general poor AQI of the Capital, they’d ship us out in a big yellow bus in “church clothes”. I still think it was stupid.

Possibly more performative and ceremonial than real service. Who knows.

I had nothing to do with the Methodist church, but because I was Chapel-in-charge in the hostel where the pastor resided, I was also sometimes assigned some roles in his Sunday Service. One of them was always to pass the Hymnals out before service. These Hymnals were the low-quality blue plastic covers variety. I was never alone for these duties though. Some of the girls were always Christian and nice about Service Labour. So they’d help out. We’d take the hymnals out from somewhere (dear lord, I can’t even remember from where!) and place them on every chair set out for the service. Then, after Service, we’d simply collect them again. You only ever needed to bring a Bible with you to church, if you were so inclined.

Something similar operated in the Seventh-day Adventist church I attended for three years in Roorkee. Daily morning service, daily evening service, Friday evening vespers, Sabbath School and I think two other services the same day… oh dear god, the sheer volume of services! You know, come to think of it, after graduating from high school, I’ve never attended youth service again. That aside, even in SDA service, we didn’t need to own a hymnal. 

On Sabbath services and the more churchy services, we had the Hymnals. Someone would have passed them around before church. The deacons, maybe. I always liked the feel of the hardbound maroon leather (rexin?) cover with the staff notation and the words so neatly typed in no-nonsense font on buttery paper. I liked those Hymnals. On other regular services, Mrs. Susan Chand would use a projector to guide us through the songs, electronically screening the lyrics directly on the vast yellow wall on the side of the main stage area. No hymnal required.

I say all this because my Church has come up with a new Hymnal. A revision of the old whose new edition has included Additions, and a resultant change in numbering.

I will have to buy it. You can argue with me till you are blue in the face that I am not obligated to. But you and I both know I will. It’s like tithe or offering. I am not obligated to give but I will. Not doing so would earn me Censure, as we might call it in Sociology. Not to mention create an avoidable inconvenience from using an Edition that doesn’t match what everyone else is carrying. Judging from my monthly salary, I can afford it. But I hate waste and I hate that my perfectly good Hymnal will now essentially be redundant in a few months. It will collect dust in some corner of my house. I don’t think I’ve turned all the pages. I don’t think my church has sung all the songs in it. We do have our favourite numbers.

Far be it from me to criticize church, but I just think it is wasteful. And lowkey burdensome on people who make less money than I do. (Again, far be it from me to suggest to people how to spend their own money). I simply can’t help thinking how wonderful it would be if churches just bought a shit ton of these Hymnals every time a new edition comes out and handed them out in church like we used to do it in Delhi and Roorkee. And have the few zealously devoted members buy their own copies, no issues. But the hymnals! 

(Sigh)