There was a time when I was preparing for Civils and I was highly addicted to the sweet dye-red mango jams packed in tiny little poly-bags that we get in Mizoram from Burma. The ones that have a turtle on its little pocket. Usually we call it Hai-Um. Jams? Pickles? Pickled mango, maybe. I have no idea where the turtle on the packet cover was heading, but my sister supplied me with about a 100 bucks worth of them about 3x a week. My tongue was always red.
I got the job and then a year later I moved to Faridabad to do my MBA under a government programme. I’d stay the week in Faridabad and return to my dad’s quarters in West Kidwai Nagar for the weekend. WKN was next door to INA Market where they sold local-made yam chips. I devoured them. I bought them by the kilo. I had a salary by then. And being no real big spender, I threw it on chips. My metabolism what it was at the time, it didn’t show on my body but man, I ate yam chips like there was no tomorrow.
Momos I won’t even mention. I ate momos like God designed them to be my main source of sustenance. I have never really stopped. But I don’t eat momos like I used to. Majnu ka Tila, Amar Colony, and Lajpat Nagar momos were where all my student pocket money went.
I returned to Mizoram and got posted in Champhai and living alone, and salaried, I began to fixate on sunflower seeds. Dear lord, how I consumed sunflower seeds! Most people share a 20 bucks packet together over a chat. I usually ate a 100 bucks worth in one sitting, watching a movie maybe. The speed and accuracy of my shelling skills became legendary. They are still quite something to behold, if I do say so myself.
That gave way to cheese wafers by Nabati. As with the sunflower seeds, I got them in bulk from the wholesalers rather than buying retail because the amount I was consuming, it did not make sense to buy retail. I saved 10 or 20 bucks here and there buying wholesale. But more importantly, it saved me the mortification I’d feel from the judgment based on my greed and gluttony over these snacks, which I could not truly fault. That, however, stopped one day when I was happily buying Nabati in bulk when the innocent woman wholesaler marveled: Wow, how do you sell them so quickly, it is very impressive! I was properly shamed because not one of those wafers had ever been sold or shared. I’d eaten them all. I have not eaten Nabati wafers since.
When I was in Aibawk, one time a doctor told me to cut off potatoes and flour from my diet. Suitably scared, I started looking for substitutes for potato and maida snacks. I tried these really umami packed peas but they came in really tiny air-filled packets. I didn’t feel good buying them in bulk. They were too conspicuous. So I started eating Kurkure. I figured as this was corn-based, it was some sort of a legit loophole snacks deal. I ate Kurkure like my life depended on it. I got them from RPi who runs a petty shop and she could never stock them fast enough because I ate them all. The only thing I was ever hesitant about Kurkure was that when I was in college, U Sangpuii had needed to get her stomach pumped after consuming too much Kurkure at one go.
So I decided to switch tracks and started eating cold sausages instead. RPi who was my dealer even warned me against it. These were not good snacks. They had too much MSG in them for that amazing umami flavour for them to ever be good for the body, per se. I didn’t care. They were really good snacks. I ate cold sausages till my sweat and pee started stinking of them. I knew I had to stop. The withdrawal was something awful.
I have been trying very hard to not feed into this obsessive nature. It always needs to be a very conscious effort because my god, it is easy to slip! I slipped in Hnahthial and started eating Kurkure again. My driver would buy them for me and at one point he bought 2000 bucks worth of Kurkure and he packed them in a giant cardboard box. And when Champhai was repeated with the shopkeeper asking him whether the DC Office was hosting some sort of kid-friendly programme, I was chastened and I knew I had to stop.
I believe that if I ever get addicted to booze, that'll be the end of me. I’d die in a month from alcohol poisoning. Or, to paraphrase Daniel Radcliffe, it could be hard drugs. So all things considered, things could be worse. I guess I am still fine.
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